So, I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. That's probably because my and Corey's one year anniversary is coming up soon, one of my good friends from high school just got engaged, and I watched Charly last night. Disclaimer: this post may be more ridiculous than you, the reader, care for. Sorry about that.
So, as the typical little Mormon girl I used to be, I thought about marriage a lot. One of my good friends who isn't LDS tells me that she always thought it was weird that as a ten-year-old my goal in life was to get married... As a teenager, I remember scheming in my mind about how to get certain young gentlemen to eventually fall for me and decide to marry me. In my oh so mature mind, I was convinced that once we married, we would be happy because that's the way life works. It didn't bother me that it possibly take years for said gentleman to fall for me because it would be worth it in the end. I just envisioned marriage as getting to be with the boy I had a crush on everyday. I never really thought about anything past the temple ceremony because I didn't even know how I was going to get there in the first place.
Then, on August 24, 2006, my life changed forever. I met Corey. The next night on our first date, we went and saw X-Men 3 at the dollar theater at midnight (right after Corey got off work). We basically talked the whole movie, which is funny because normally we hate people who do that, he held , my hand, and we stayed in the theater talking after the movie was over until they kicked us out. After that, we dated non-stop. I learned how fantastic it is to date someone who'd been interested in me all along. There was no scheming with Casey about elaborate phone calls or me trying to figure out exactly what he wanted his perfect girl to be. He was happy with me exactly the way I was and I never had to pretend in front of him. Pretty soon, we were talking about marriage. I have to admit, I was freaked out. I mean, I was barely 19 and this wasn't a part of my plan at all. After quite a bit of prayer and a great blessing from my dad, I calmed down and started to get excited about marriage. So, as an engaged girl, I envisioned marriage as a sort of ongoing date. I figured we'd never argue because we loved each other so, we'd never have to say goodbye, and there'd be some other great benefits as well... I'd heard that marriage is hard and I'd told myself that I believed it, but I never really did. Maybe for other people, but not for us. We had true love. My life was about to turn into perfect days of bliss, each day better than the last.
So, I got married. It was the best day of my life. Like I said earlier, It's been almost a year now and my ideas about marriage have changed quite a bit. First of all, guess what? Marriage is hard. Really. I think it's hard because life is hard and so taking two separate lives and merging them into one makes life even trickier. No matter how in love two people are, they're not the same person so there will always be differences. Something else I've learned is that that's okay. Even though disagreements aren't fun when they happen, sometimes they're necessary. Also, stressful things happen. People (me...) get sick. Money gets tight (as in $25 is all you have). Jobs go wrong and tests get failed. It's hard to get through those things no matter what, so I can't blame that stress on marriage, but I think some people tend to. But, marriage is so worth it. It's wonderful in different ways than I ever imagined. It's wonderful to have someone who's willing to go to the store at 3 a.m. to buy much needed medicine. It's wonderful to have someone who always wants you to have the last bite of ice cream. It's wonderful to have someone who doesn't even make fun of you for crying during Charly because he realizes that he'd miss you so much if something happened to you. Marriage is about so much more than the romance. It's about planning a life together. It's about making a playful bet for 20 years from now. It's about thinking of our future family and being so excited that my kids will have traits from my favorite person in the world. It's about supporting each other no matter what. It's about forgiveness and looking past faults instead of trying to change them. It's about waking up in the morning and looking across the bed at the person you get to be with forever and feeling incredibly grateful. It's about almost crying every time you see the Bountiful Temple because of the memories. I've been very blessed and can't wait to spend many more years learning about what marriage really is.
So, as the typical little Mormon girl I used to be, I thought about marriage a lot. One of my good friends who isn't LDS tells me that she always thought it was weird that as a ten-year-old my goal in life was to get married... As a teenager, I remember scheming in my mind about how to get certain young gentlemen to eventually fall for me and decide to marry me. In my oh so mature mind, I was convinced that once we married, we would be happy because that's the way life works. It didn't bother me that it possibly take years for said gentleman to fall for me because it would be worth it in the end. I just envisioned marriage as getting to be with the boy I had a crush on everyday. I never really thought about anything past the temple ceremony because I didn't even know how I was going to get there in the first place.
Then, on August 24, 2006, my life changed forever. I met Corey. The next night on our first date, we went and saw X-Men 3 at the dollar theater at midnight (right after Corey got off work). We basically talked the whole movie, which is funny because normally we hate people who do that, he held , my hand, and we stayed in the theater talking after the movie was over until they kicked us out. After that, we dated non-stop. I learned how fantastic it is to date someone who'd been interested in me all along. There was no scheming with Casey about elaborate phone calls or me trying to figure out exactly what he wanted his perfect girl to be. He was happy with me exactly the way I was and I never had to pretend in front of him. Pretty soon, we were talking about marriage. I have to admit, I was freaked out. I mean, I was barely 19 and this wasn't a part of my plan at all. After quite a bit of prayer and a great blessing from my dad, I calmed down and started to get excited about marriage. So, as an engaged girl, I envisioned marriage as a sort of ongoing date. I figured we'd never argue because we loved each other so, we'd never have to say goodbye, and there'd be some other great benefits as well... I'd heard that marriage is hard and I'd told myself that I believed it, but I never really did. Maybe for other people, but not for us. We had true love. My life was about to turn into perfect days of bliss, each day better than the last.
So, I got married. It was the best day of my life. Like I said earlier, It's been almost a year now and my ideas about marriage have changed quite a bit. First of all, guess what? Marriage is hard. Really. I think it's hard because life is hard and so taking two separate lives and merging them into one makes life even trickier. No matter how in love two people are, they're not the same person so there will always be differences. Something else I've learned is that that's okay. Even though disagreements aren't fun when they happen, sometimes they're necessary. Also, stressful things happen. People (me...) get sick. Money gets tight (as in $25 is all you have). Jobs go wrong and tests get failed. It's hard to get through those things no matter what, so I can't blame that stress on marriage, but I think some people tend to. But, marriage is so worth it. It's wonderful in different ways than I ever imagined. It's wonderful to have someone who's willing to go to the store at 3 a.m. to buy much needed medicine. It's wonderful to have someone who always wants you to have the last bite of ice cream. It's wonderful to have someone who doesn't even make fun of you for crying during Charly because he realizes that he'd miss you so much if something happened to you. Marriage is about so much more than the romance. It's about planning a life together. It's about making a playful bet for 20 years from now. It's about thinking of our future family and being so excited that my kids will have traits from my favorite person in the world. It's about supporting each other no matter what. It's about forgiveness and looking past faults instead of trying to change them. It's about waking up in the morning and looking across the bed at the person you get to be with forever and feeling incredibly grateful. It's about almost crying every time you see the Bountiful Temple because of the memories. I've been very blessed and can't wait to spend many more years learning about what marriage really is.
2 comments:
I believe you and I was expecting it to be more sappy or something with your disclaimer, but it wasn't. :)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Yay being married! :)
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