Blushing

For as long as I can remember, I have blushed quite a bit. I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but I have a really annoying problem. I can't comment in class without blushing! This was never a problem before I was in college. But, I've been here over 4 years and I still can't do it. I'm not an incessant commenter/question answerer. When I do make a comment, it's pertinent and intelligent. But, that doesn't matter. I blush! And then, I realize I'm blushing and that embarrasses me so much that Iblush even more. What the heck?

Chess

So, today I had quite the eye opener. I went with Lisa to do a home visit with one of her clients (I'll call him Carter). He's 11 and in sixth grade. He lives in a foster home for male sex offenders so she likes to take him out to do something fun every other month. This month, she wanted to take him to the library. So, I was kind of nervous about it. I've never met this boy, but I have heard about some of the things he's done. He's done some pretty terrible things to his sisters in the past which is why he's in foster care. I didn't think spending an afternoon at the library with a young sex offender would be very enjoyable, but I figured that it was part of the job.

So, we got to the library and there was this huge to do because even though Lisa is Carter's legal guardian since he's in the custody of the state, she doesn't live with him and the librarians didn't know if he was allowed to get his own card. So, Lisa was sorting that out and I was left alone with Carter. I was worried about the awkwardness. But, it wasn't awkward at all. He wasn't sure what books he would like to read and I told him about the Animorph books which he was pretty excited about. After Lisa came back, we went up to look at the Animorph books. There was a library chess club thing going on. Carter asked Lisa to play chess; she didn't know how so I played instead. And it was so much fun! We were laughing and having a lot of fun. Of course he was enjoying himself because even though I tried my best, I lost spectacularly (which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who has ever played chess with me.) But, overall, it was a great afternoon. Carter asked Lisa if I would come along to the next fun visit which made me feel good.

So, I feel like I really learned something. This little boy wasn't a hardened, mean child. He's a little boy who's had bad influences in his life and has made some big mistakes. I feel deep concern for his welfare now and wish him the best. I feel ashamed for not wanting to spend time with him in the first place. I think I learned a lot.

Back Again...

So, I'm back in school. Again. It feels so redundant at this point. I can't believe I'm starting my ninth semester at BYU. Today was my first day of class. Interior Design might be good or horrible... I talked to the teacher and figured out what I'll need to do to accomodate the baby coming in November and hse was very understanding, so that's a relief. The first part of class was not much fun because the air conditioning was broken or something and the heat was stifling. The teacher seems kind of crazy, but maybe she's not... The second half of class was really interesing though. It was just a slide show of rooms and furniture, but I liked it. It makes me want a house and no budget :).

Dr. Coyne's Media and Child Development class will be fantastic I'm sure. Today was nothing special, but I love her teaching so much and the last class I took from her was great. She's having us make blogs and so maybe that blog will help me remember that this one exists. I'm so excited to learn how media affects us and what we can do about it.

I started my Independent Study ENGL 315 (Writing in the Social Sciences) class yesterday. There is a good chance I will hate it. Lots of work and boredom. Plus, we have this packet that tells us grammar rules. The one I was supposed to read today was about capitalization. Hello? How can anyone have made it to their junior or senior year of BYU and not know that proper nouns are capitalized and other nouns are not? I mean, really? But, I should probably work on that now... When Savannah kicks me, it serves as a good reminder of my motivation to finish the class by November :). Plus, maybe if I finish a lesson, Corey and I can go see Up.

Tiny Dancer

Three months from today is my due date. I'm so weirded out. Little Savannah is starting to react to sound now. I noticed that when I started playing music on the laptop, she started moving like crazy. I can see her moving even with my several layers pregnancy seems to require me to wear always (garments, bella band, camisole, shirt...) From now on, I guess I should only listen to decent music. I guess that means the radio will be permanently turned off in my car. I'm trying to decide if I should be a mom who reads the same story every night while she's in the womb so she recognizes it when she's born. I guess it's worth a shot to see if it works, right? Now I just have to come up with the perfect story to read. Something short and rhythmic would probably be good. Any ideas?

So Scary!!!

So, on Friday I was brave.  I mean, really, really brave.  I donated blood for the first time.  Yay!!!  BYU was doing a week long blood drive and every time I walked by it in the Wilk, I felt guilt.  But, I have this bad habit of not always eating and I knew that would make donating blood difficult.  But, on Friday, I had a big breakfast and lunch, got Cathryn to come (which wasn't difficult, she's way braver than me) and went to face my biggest fear!

We had to wait for a really long time.  We signed in at 1.  At 2, we were finally able to go to the cranky finger pricking ladies.  Well, at least mine was cranky.  And she squeezed like 4 drops of blood out before she could use one.  Lame/ouch.  Then after aswering a bazillion questions that reaffirmed that I really am way too sheltered, I went to wait for my turn.  I was so scared!  I put my iPod on my testing center playlist, but even that didn't help...

Finally, they called me up.  The blood guy's name was Edward.  That was so subtly ironic that it helped ease my fears a bit...  Edward kept telling me to call down and that it wouldn't hurt (lies) and that I would be fine.  Then he stuck the world's biggest needle in me.  Then he was like, "Huh, I wonder why there's not blood coming.  I know it's in the vein."  So, he calls over blood lady.  She's like, "Huh, I wonder why there's not blood coming.  I know it's in the vein."  So, they tried to dig under the vein.  Nope.  They tried going above the vein.  Nope.  They tried variations of this for about 5 minutes.  I was freaking out.  Really.  It hurt some, but I was mostly terrified.  I hate the thought of a needle being in me.  I feel a little dumb for slightly losing it in front of many, many strangers. but it was a bad situation.  Just as I was about to ask them to give up and let me go home, the blood started to come.  Yay!  My terror wasn't for naught!  Once it was done, I was supposed to sit down for at least 10 minutes.  Too bad how I was already late for choir (it was 3:10).  So, I sat down for about 45 seconds and left. 

It wasn't a pleasant experience, but I'm glad I did it.  I mean, I don't have a lot of time or money to donate to people, but at least I was able to do this.  I'm starting right now to talk myself into it again.  Maybe I'll build up the courage by the time I'm allowed to again. 

Up With Kids

So, yesterday was my first day as an Up With Kids teacher. I was terrified, but it went okay... Well, only two people showed up to the upper class, but it will be okay I hope... The good news is, every single kid who showed up signed up! So, I guess I did a good job. I was scared, but I think I did a good job of hiding it. It was weird to be up there teaching though. I mean, all the kids looking up at me and doing what I said... Weird. I liked singing the songs with them though. I know how to sing. I'm going to be princessed out by the end of this year though. Besides Enchanted, we're singing a princess set in Women's Chorus. What the heck.

First day of School!

So, yesterday was the beginning of the end for me. I had my last first day of school. It's a strange feeling. I mean, I've been going to school for 16 years. I've had 16 first days of school, 16 sleepless nights, and 16 before school blessings. I'll never quite have that same sensation again. It's strange really. What happens after this? I mean, everybody who knows me (seriously, everybody, even the girl I met in my Judaism class today...) knows that I want a baby more than anything, but when I'm realistic, I have to consider the fact that even though I'll stop taking the birth control relatively soon, that doesn't mean instant pregnancy. It will probably take months, maybe even years. So, what am I going to do in that time of limbo? I mean, I certainly can't sit at home sewing my baby quilt while I wait for a baby to come... But, how will I get a job? I mean, seriously, who's going to hire the girl who will only want to work until Corison comes along (that's not future werf's real name)? So, will I be stuck working at Western Wats even with my college degree? Well, that would suck. So, I don't really know what I'm going to do with my life. I almost think it would be great to just be pregnant nowish and then have the baby come as soon as I'm done with school but my academic conscious (aka Corey) thinks that would be a Bad Idea. He's probably right. Anyway, I know most of that has nothing to do with the first day of school, but it's what this last year is going to bring. I'm kind of scared, but it will all work out.